Hunter

The morning alarm woke me up from my slumber, and I stretched myself in bed. Suddenly I sensed emptiness by my side. I looked right, over to the side where she slept. She was not there. I looked away, and closed my eyes for a while. Then I sat up in bed, and covered my face with my palms. I shouldn’t have shouted at her, I told myself. I knew that I had crossed the line. Now I realized how hurt she would have felt with my outburst. I was ashamed with my act. I had a lot of pressure in mind, and I released the frustration on her. Her fault; just that she was in front of me at that moment. God, I knew I could never forgive myself. It had happened in the past, and of late it was getting more frequent. I had to apologize. And make up for all my faults. But something caught my eye in the distance.

On the doorknob, there was a small note. I got up and went to the door. I picked up the folded paper with my hand and opened it. It was from her. Her handwriting. I felt relieved. But something was different.

“Honey,

It’s a new day today, so the best is yet to come… look ahead.

D.D.”

I read it over and over again. Did she forgive me, I wondered. But then again, I did not feel too optimistic. Then I walked to the bathroom. I splashed some water to refresh myself. The water was already hot. I was surprised. I couldn’t believe that she had actually heated water for me. She always used to push me out of bed to heat the water for us. Well today was a different day. I spent a long time in the shower, feeling the water cleanse me of drowsiness. The sensation of warm water hitting my skin gave me the goose bumps. But it was relaxing. I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. Wrapping the towel around me, I drew aside the shower curtain. There was a lot of steam in the bathroom. I navigated to the door and opened it. Slowly the mist wafted away. I turned to the cabinet to take out my shaving kit. And then I get my second surprise…

The steam had misted the mirror, but I could clearly discern words on the glass. Once again, I recognize her handwriting.

“Honey,

Surely you have enjoyed your shower. I hope you are now fresh for the new day ahead.

D.D.”

The message seemed to have a deeper meaning. I did not know yet what it meant. But then again, I knew that she had forgiven me. It was typical of her. With a smile on my face, I wiped off the mirror.

With the towel wrapped around me, I walked to the kitchen. I was pretty laid-back at home. I did what I wanted, even wore what I wanted. I opened the fridge to take out some milk, and there, once again, I see a note on the milk carton. It was obviously her note. I opened it, and couldn’t believe my luck.

“Honey,

Your breakfast is ready. You will find it in the microwave oven. Please heat the food. I don’t want you to get an upset stomach. You will get a fresh start today.

D.D.”

And I couldn’t have asked for a better start. She had prepared pancakes and eggs for me. I sat at the table, relishing every moment of this breakfast. But I wondered where she was now. I looked around the room and saw her handbag missing. She had gone to the studio. Well, I thought, I guess I have to return the goodness. I called up office, and told them that I wouldn’t be coming in. Then I sat in the couch, trying to figure out what to do. The curtains were still closed, and my eye trained on a solitary candle upon the showcase. It was right in front of her photograph. I got up and walked towards it. I picked up the photograph. I looked at her face intently. She had an infectious smile and a graceful look. She looked happy, happier than present times. And even through all the troubles I had put her through, she still turned it round and returned love. Guiltiness overcame me. But just then, the flickering flame reflecting from the photograph gave me an idea.

By the time I was almost done with implementing my plan, I heard the phone ring. It was a cordless set, and the surprise I had planned for her had made it difficult to locate the phone. Somehow I managed to pick up the call. I was breathing hard from the effort. But when I heard her on the phone, I held my breath. I wanted to apologize to her that moment. But the words never came out. Instead, I listened to her intently and carefully. She wanted to check on how my day was. Magical, I thought, but I didn’t tell her. I was still skeptical. And then at the point of putting down the phone, she had one more thing to tell me. I was still silent. A short pause, and she told me to meet her at the studio. It was important. Had she finally forgiven me? I certainly hoped so. I told her that I too have something to show her. But she cut me off, telling me that I needn’t worry, the best was yet to come. And the phone went dead.

I looked at my watch. I had one and a half hours before meeting her at the studio. I got dressed very quickly. I knew I would have to move through peak traffic. Reaching her place on time seemed hard. Somehow I managed to get out of the house in twenty minutes. As expected, a traffic jam loomed ahead. Almost forty-five minutes later, I found myself moving at a snail’s pace. I was getting frustrated. But when I looked out of the window, I noticed a florist’s. I was close to the sidewalk, so I parked my vehicle on the side. I walked into the store and asked for violet petunias. She adored them. These were the very flowers that got me her approval. The storekeeper had a good stock of them. Picking up a score of petunias, I rushed back to the car and drove right into traffic. To pass the time constructively, I took out a pen and wrote a small note for her.

“Honey,

Today is by far the best day of my life with you. And I too have something for you. Don’t worry, and like you said, the best is still to come.”

I placed the note amongst the delicate petunias. They lay at the passenger seat by my side. I was getting excited of meeting her. It felt like falling in love once again. I as inched closer to the studio, I thought over how to bring her home. Probably take her out for lunch… No… I would takeaway some lunch… Or maybe even have the food delivered home while I am at the studio with her… Yes… Then I would take her home… Close her eyes while I darken the living room with all curtains shut… Probably light up the candles while her eyes are closed… No, maybe she can help me out lighting them all… Lavender scented ones, yes… Sit at the couch with a glass of her favorite wine listening to her love songs, her talks, feel the warmth of her tender and delectable lips, sharing a priceless moment of privacy together…

The cacophony of blaring horns behind my vehicle snatched the fantasy away from me. The signal ahead was green, and I had not moved my car. Embarrassed, I shifted gears and sped away. But I could not help but notice a sly smile on my face.

I was about eight minutes late when I arrived at the studio. When I entered, I saw a sea of familiar faces. Even though I had been here before, I still felt out of place. But when I saw her, I relaxed a bit, wary of her anger. I expected her wrath, since I had come in late. But to my surprise, she greeted me with a smile. I went forward to greet her with a kiss, but she offered a cheek. I found it odd, for she was quite open with our relationship. She asked me how my day was. I told her that I followed her every instruction and it turned out to be a great day. In return I gave her the violet petunias. The sight of the flowers brought that familiar glow to her face. I was mesmerized. I came close to her, and picked up a faint scent of ‘Sheseido’. It was the perfume that aroused my senses. I whispered into her ears, telling her that I had a small surprise for her. She smiled back and told me that she first wanted to show me something.

She turned around and then back again, holding a folder in hand. I looked at her questioningly. She gestured me to open it. I opened the folder, sensing the worst. But it was a song script. It was full of notes and lyrics. “Hunter” was its title. She told me that it was a song she had written for me. I was touched. It was the most romantic thing that she had ever done for me. I looked at her lovingly. I offered her a hug, but she asked me if I wanted to hear the song. Feeling awkward with my raised arms, I discreetly put them down and nodded. She smiled and told me to sit and listen from the control room. And then she left.

In the control room, the sound engineer handed me the headphones. I looked at her proudly. I told the guys there that she wrote a song for me. They nodded their heads, uninterested. But I didn’t care. I was still proud of her. She looked at me for a while. I returned her gaze. Then she motioned me wear the headphones. The live room was sound proof. When I wore it, she came to the microphone. She asked me if I remembered her telling me that the best was yet to come. I nodded and smiled. She smiled back and told that that moment is now. Once again, she told me that she wrote this song for me. I smiled back at her and gave her a thumbs-up. She smiled back, and then told the team to start the music. And I sat back, listening to the rhythm.

As she started the first stanza, I did not know where she was going with the song. But as she proceeded to the second stanza, I knew something was wrong. I opened the folder and read the lyrics, in horror.

“With one light on in one room

I know you’re up when I get home

With one small step upon the stair

I know your look when I get back

If you were a king, a pharaoh on your throne

Would you be wise enough to let me go

For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again

I want to see the world alone again

To take a chance on life again

So let me go…

Your red book, a painful look

The TV’s on, the sound is down

One long pause, then you begin

Oh look what’s the cat brought in

If you were a king, a pharaoh on your throne

Would you be wise enough to let me go

For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again

I want to see the world alone again

To take a chance on life again

So let me go… let me leave…

For the crown you’ve placed upon my head feels too heavy now

And I don’t know what to say to you, but I’ll smile anyhow

And all the time I’m thinking, thinking…

(I want to be a hunter again

I want to see the world alone again

To take a chance on life again

So let me go… ) X 2

Let me leave… let me go…”

I was speechless. I closed the folder. I read the title of the song. Hunter. I never imagined its contents would be so strong. I looked at her. She was looking at me. Deeply. I felt her stare burn right through me. And I saw a tear trickle down her cheek. Sadness overcame me. I thought she had forgiven me. But she gave her answer through her song. I was devastated, not knowing what to say. The guys at the recording desk looked at me, confused. I suddenly felt vulnerable. I looked at her again, and saw her wipe the tears off her cheek. I got up to go to her, but she said no. I sat. She shook her head, and left. I knew it was over.

I left the studio, frustrated and dejected as ever. I got to my car and looked across the car park. I caught a glimpse of her getting into her car. I watched her drive away. Gloomy, I sat in my car for a while. Then I saw something caught in the windscreen wipers. I stretched across to retrieve it. It was a folded note. Her note. I opened it and read its contents. Tears were brimming in my eyes at that moment.

“Honey,

I know you are wise enough to let me go. Only then will I get another chance on life again. It’s the best for us both, so let me go…

D.D.”

(The lyrics are from Dido’s single, “Hunter”. That’s the inspiration to this piece.)